Many people seem to believe that loving others means refusing to judge them. The principle concern used to be harsh, hypocritical judgment, but the sentiment has gone further so that any willingness to say that something or someone is wrong is perceived as "unloving." This idea misunderstands both love and judgment. All human beings necessarily and continuously make judgments about good and bad, right and wrong. Consequently, saying we don't judge others is just dishonest. That being said, we must avoid judging others too harshly or unfairly because love isn’t harsh or unfair.
Acknowledging that someone else is wrong doesn't mean we don't love them. If I’m down with you, I’m gonna love you even when you’re wrong! I can see your wrong and tell you you're wrong, and still love you. I don't mean I can say the words. I mean I can love you fiercely and loyally even when you're as wrong as two left shoes. I’ve made plenty of mistakes in my life. I’m not perfect, and I don’t expect others to be perfect. I expect people to make mistakes. Recognizing mistakes or flaws in another person is just acknowledging the person’s humanity.
When you truly love someone, you love them warts and all. Real love is not blind. It’s not the stuff you see in movies. Real love is Jesus washing his disciples’ feet while knowing one of them would betray him and all of them would leave him in his hour of need (John 13:1-18; Matt 26:20-25, 30:35). Real love is Jesus telling Peter he knew Peter would deny him, praying for Peter in advance, and encouraging Peter to get right after he faltered (Luke 22:31-34). Real love is Peter telling Simon he didn’t think Simon’s heart was right and telling him what to do to get right (Acts 8:18-22).
Love isn’t blind to other people’s faults. Real love has to recognize faults in order to help people avoid falling and then help them get right when they fall. Judgment is necessary to praise sincerely. Otherwise, what sounds like praise is empty flattery. Judgment is also necessary to correct others and help them improve when their actions and attitudes are not praiseworthy. Properly understood, then, a failure to judge—fairly and with a desire to help others get right—is a failure to care. It is a failure love. People who love you tell you what you need to hear, even if you don't want to hear it.
2 comments
When I was young and immature about the society, all believed that judging others are sin. But when I grow up I realized that when I discipline my nephew and niece because of their bad behavior I already judge them. I judged their bad behavior. You judged, because you moved by true love. Have a good day.
I am 4 yrs old and my granny read part of your blog and I read the rest. I know she loves me when she spank me for not doing the right thing or talking in class. I am in kindergarten
and she teaches me about Jesus. Now I understand a little judging. I will be on my best behavior, so I won’t have to be judged so much, just loved. Rylee